Chapter 4 - Light Beyond Shadows
Chapter 4: Light Beyond Shadows
The morning sunlight streamed through the window of her bedroom, casting gentle rays across the photograph of her parents beside the small Buddhist altar. Incense burned softly, its wispy smoke twirling upwards in peaceful spirals. Sitting cross-legged, Shei Er gazed at the serene image of Buddha, breathing deeply, her thoughts swirling into quiet contemplation.
Her heart was restless. Ever since that night when Aleem reaffirmed his love—gentle, earnest, and brave—she had felt caught between two worlds, each pulling her in opposite directions.
She had grown up Buddhist—guided by her parents’ quiet wisdom, their compassionate beliefs forming her identity. Yet lately, the spiritual certainty she once found so comforting had given way to questions she couldn’t ignore.
Can love exist beyond these spiritual borders? Can faith be redefined without losing myself?
She sighed gently, her heart yearning for clarity, a feeling deepened every time Aleem smiled at her, or called her name gently: Xue Er.
No one else had ever called her that. It felt as if Aleem had somehow seen deeper into her soul than anyone else had ever tried.
Her phone buzzed softly beside her, interrupting her reflection. It was Janice, texting playfully:
“Hey lovebirds! Darren suspects something. Team lunch again tomorrow—he says mandatory, even Aleem! Prepare to be teased. 😉”
She blushed slightly, her colleagues’ suspicions growing more apparent every day. But it wasn’t the teasing she feared—it was admitting the truth openly, confronting all its implications.
Yet, in that discomfort lay honesty. The thought of openly admitting her love for Aleem filled her with both fear and joy.
Slowly, she stood, gently bowing towards the altar before quietly whispering, “Please guide me.”
The team lunch the following day was lively. Aleem, predictably uncomfortable, sat quietly between Yong Sheng and Darren, gently smiling yet avoiding eye contact with her. Kai Qiang playfully nudged Pei Ying, exchanging knowing glances. Janice, meanwhile, observed everything quietly, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
“So,” Darren began casually, looking directly at Shei Er. “Anything interesting happening lately, Shei Er? Personal or professional?”
She laughed nervously, her eyes instinctively darting to Aleem, who smiled softly, encouragingly.
“Eh, boss,” Yong Sheng chuckled loudly. “You’re asking the wrong person. Should ask Aleem. Confirm he got the details.”
Laughter erupted around the table, gentle and playful, not malicious, but it still made her flush deeply. Yet Aleem calmly spoke up, softly diverting attention away from her.
“Actually, Darren, everything’s fine,” Aleem said with calm sincerity. “But Xue Er’s got something big on her plate. Maybe we could ease up?”
His protectiveness was subtle yet unmistakable. The team quieted slightly, Janice’s eyes softening knowingly. Darren smiled gently, nodding respectfully.
“Of course,” Darren replied gently, sensing the deeper meaning. “But if either of you need anything, my door is always open.”
Shei Er nodded gratefully, relieved yet increasingly aware of how openly Aleem was willing to stand by her—even amidst uncomfortable scrutiny.
Weeks passed, and her internal journey deepened. She read books on spirituality, spoke quietly with close Buddhist friends, and even began exploring the basics of Islam, quietly attending a talk at a mosque, initially hesitant, but curious.
The beauty of Islam surprised her—the peaceful humility, the deep reverence Aleem carried in his heart. He never pressured her, never pushed his beliefs onto her. Instead, he answered her quiet questions gently, respectfully, always supportive, never impatient.
One afternoon, sitting at a quiet café, she finally spoke the words she’d held back for weeks.
“Aleem, do you think… I could be Muslim?”
He set down his coffee gently, eyes softening with careful sincerity.
“Xue Er, it’s a journey only you can decide on. What matters most to me is your heart, your happiness,” he whispered softly. “If you choose Islam, let it be because you feel it’s right for you—not because you fear losing me. I’ll love you regardless.”
His words brought tears to her eyes. He offered his hand gently, silently asking permission. She placed hers into his, the warmth reassuring her conflicted heart.
“I want to explore,” she whispered honestly. “But I’m afraid of losing myself, my identity. Buddhism shaped my whole life, my values, my family—it’s hard to imagine letting go.”
Aleem squeezed her hand comfortingly, his voice gentle yet confident. “Faith is never about losing yourself. It’s about finding peace, understanding. Maybe you don’t have to completely let go—maybe it’s just about finding harmony between who you are and what you believe.”
She smiled weakly, feeling the quiet strength he offered.
Days later, alone in quiet meditation before the altar again, she whispered softly to Buddha, heart trembling gently with emotion.
“I never imagined this journey,” she admitted quietly, tears glistening softly in her eyes. “I thought faith was clear, straightforward. But maybe true faith grows strongest through questions, through doubts.”
She paused, breathing deeply, then continued with gentle certainty:
“I don’t want to lose myself, but I also don’t want to deny my heart. Aleem taught me compassion and love in ways that cross every boundary I ever imagined. If love is compassion—and compassion is central to Buddhism—then maybe, just maybe, love can guide me now.”
A quiet peace settled gently around her, warmer and clearer than she’d felt in months. She smiled softly, finally understanding that her spiritual journey wasn’t a rejection of her past but a deeper evolution—guided by compassion, understanding, and the unwavering love Aleem quietly offered.
Later that evening, she quietly texted Aleem, heart clear but still a little nervous:
“I think I’m ready to learn more. Will you come with me?”
His reply was simple but filled her heart with warmth:
“Always, Xue Er. Every step, I’m beside you.”
She placed her phone down, smiling softly, feeling an unfamiliar yet comforting strength. Though her journey wasn’t complete, she was no longer afraid to walk it.
Because now, she knew clearly—love had lit her path, compassion had guided her heart, and Aleem would always be there, quietly holding her hand.