Chapter 3 - Reflections in Silence
Chapter 3: Reflections in Silence
(Shei Er’s POV of Chapter 1)
Shei Er stood quietly beside Pei Ying in the lift lobby, checking her reflection briefly. A year had passed since Aleem confessed—since she had gently but painfully rejected him—and yet her heart stubbornly refused to forget. Tonight was another casual dinner among friends, but a quiet tension had slowly crept between her and Aleem, hidden behind jokes and gentle smiles.
“Why so quiet today?” Pei Ying teased softly, nudging her friend’s arm playfully.
“Just a bit tired,” she lied easily, flashing a casual smile. Her thoughts, however, spiralled inwardly. She had grown adept at concealing how conflicted she truly felt.
As Aleem joined them, her heart betrayed her again, beating a little faster. She forced herself to meet his eyes, seeing the same gentle warmth that always greeted her.
“Xue Er,” Aleem smiled gently, using the nickname only he dared utter—a tender, intimate familiarity that still made her heart skip. “Are you alright?”
“Fine,” she replied too quickly, hoping her cheeks hadn’t flushed visibly. “Just hungry.”
Before Aleem could respond, the elevator doors dinged open, revealing their colleagues—Yuen Wah, Yong Sheng, and Xavier.
“Eh, look at you all, ready to makan?” Yong Sheng greeted enthusiastically. “Join us lah. We’re discussing Tit Min’s farewell dinner.”
“You again!” Pei Ying giggled, pointing at Yuen Wah’s overly familiar shirt. “Office got no dress code for weekends, you know?”
They laughed easily, and for a moment, the familiar camaraderie lifted her spirits. But then Xavier turned, grinning knowingly at Shei Er.
“Aleem also coming ah? Special weekend dinner date is it?” he teased.
Her cheeks burned lightly, despite her attempts to brush it off. Why did everyone assume? Was her affection that transparent?
“Oi, stop teasing her lah,” came a gentle voice from behind. Janice, carrying takeaway coffee from the nearby café, joined the group, smiling knowingly at Shei Er. Janice had always been their bridge, sensing when to deflect attention or subtly encourage things forward. “If they say they’re friends, then they’re friends.”
Shei Er flashed Janice a grateful look, thankful for the intervention. Yet, Janice merely winked, her eyes twinkling with playful mischief. “Anyway, Darren says team lunch next Monday—mandatory attendance!”
Darren, their manager, had made these team lunches regular, but Aleem rarely joined—always finding an excuse, a subtle way to avoid suspicion or awkwardness. During their last team lunch, Darren had gently teased her, his voice joking but eyes serious: “Eh, Shei Er, Aleem avoiding lunch again ah? Got lover’s quarrel?”
She had laughed it off then, but later, privately, she confessed during their one-on-one: “Darren, I’m actually really struggling… not just work, but personal stuff too. It’s complicated.”
He had listened quietly, kindly, before advising simply: “Life is never straightforward. Sometimes, to get clarity, you have to face what’s uncomfortable. Avoiding it won’t make it easier.”
His words lingered now, resurfacing as Aleem laughed lightly at another of Yong Sheng’s jokes. Her heart ached gently.
Without thinking clearly, driven by impulse and a need to escape the suffocating teasing, she reached out suddenly and took Aleem’s hand.
She heard Yong Sheng’s amused protest behind her as she pulled Aleem away, quickly moving towards the hawker centre. It wasn’t until she felt the warmth of Aleem’s fingers fully intertwined with hers that reality struck her.
Why had she grabbed his hand?
Because, deep down, it felt natural. Because his hand was comforting—safe. Because despite every barrier and conflict, Aleem still felt right.
She glanced sideways discreetly. He wore a gentle, slightly bemused expression. Her heart hammered nervously in her chest. Did he feel it too?
Unconsciously, lost in her thoughts, she raised his hand, gently placing her lips against his knuckles, a gesture of affection her mother always offered as silent comfort.
Only after she did it, she realised.
She froze immediately, eyes wide in embarrassment. “Oh… that’s what my mum always does. It’s… a habit. I didn’t mean…”
Aleem laughed softly, eyes twinkling, yet strangely earnest. “Xue Er, friends don’t usually do that.”
She felt cornered by her feelings, too vulnerable to admit them. So, she deflected hastily. “Not like you’re going to marry me anyway.”
But his response—so earnest, so sincere—left her breathless.
“I would marry you. If you said okay, I’d marry you without hesitation.”
Her heart felt like it would burst. His words echoed Darren’s advice. Wasn’t it time she faced this discomfort instead of constantly running from it?
That night, alone in bed, Shei Er lay awake, memories resurfacing from months earlier—of another attempt she had made to move on. She had matched with a guy named Marcus on Bumble, a promising connection at first—friendly conversations, shared laughter. Yet it ended abruptly with just one sentence: “We’re just different.”
He had left it at that—no explanation, no elaboration. She understood immediately though. Somehow, even Marcus had sensed she wasn’t fully present. Her heart already belonged to another—Aleem.
Yet Aleem and she were also “different.” But he had never used their differences to push her away. Instead, he’d gently waited, patient, never demanding, always quietly hopeful.
In her internal chaos, she thought back again to Darren’s advice during their private meeting: “Sometimes you have to risk losing comfort to find happiness. It’s never easy, but your heart usually knows best.”
Tonight, clutching her pillow tightly, she whispered softly into the silence: “What does my heart truly want?”
The answer felt both terrifying and comforting.
“Xue Er,” she whispered aloud to herself, hearing Aleem’s gentle voice echo in her mind. She smiled weakly, feeling tears gather at the corners of her eyes. “Maybe it’s time I listened.”
Slowly, she drifted to sleep, deciding—quietly but firmly—that perhaps it was time to stop running from what she wanted most.