Nikah Planning
Chapter 31 – Nikah Planning
The first time Belle heard the word nikah in relation to herself, it didn’t feel romantic.
It felt like someone had placed a glass bowl in her hands.
Not heavy.
Just… fragile.
Something that could become a home if you held it with care.
Something that could shatter if you pretended it was unbreakable.
The green light had been given.
Not neon.
Not enthusiastic.
A quiet, trembling okay from both worlds.
Now came the part where love stopped being a private feeling and started becoming a public structure.
And Belle–who used to build futures with spreadsheets until one collapsed–had to learn a new kind of planning.
Planning that didn’t try to control life.
Planning that tried to honour people.
Properly.
The first planning session happened at a place so ordinary it felt almost insulting.
A neighbourhood kopi shop.
Plastic chairs.
Ceiling fans.
Milo dinosaur on the menu.
Ivan had chosen it.
“This is central,” Ivan said, as if they were convening a corporate steering committee.
Crystal had protested.
“This place is depressing,” Crystal declared. “We should do planning in a café. With vibes.”
Ivan had stared at her.
“Vibes don’t reduce risk,” Ivan replied.
Crystal had gasped like he had slapped her.
“Aleem,” Crystal demanded, “tell him vibes matter.”
Aleem, calm as ever, had said,
“Vibes matter after decisions are made.”
Belle had almost laughed.
Then she remembered what the meeting was about.
And her stomach had tightened.
They met on a Saturday afternoon.
ABIX had arrived like they always did.
Ivan with his neutral expression and a folder that made Belle suspicious.
Crystal with her big energy and her phone already in camera mode, despite being told not to.
Aleem in a simple shirt, quiet and steady.
Belle in her usual long sleeves, notebook tucked in her bag like a talisman.
They ordered drinks.
Then Crystal clapped her hands.
“Okay,” Crystal announced, eyes sparkling, “welcome to the first official ABIX Wedding Committee meeting.”
Ivan pinched the bridge of his nose.
“It’s nikah planning,” Ivan corrected.
Crystal squinted. “Same thing.”
Aleem’s gaze was steady.
“No,” Aleem said. “Not same.”
Crystal pouted.
Belle’s throat tightened.
Aleem’s tone softened a fraction.
“Nikah is the marriage contract,” Aleem explained, not lecturing, just clarifying. “The wedding is the celebration. We need to be clear.”
Crystal blinked.
Then she leaned back with exaggerated respect.
“Wah,” she murmured. “Okay, ustaz.”
Aleem didn’t react.
Ivan sipped his drink.
Belle watched them and felt something loosen in her chest.
Because ABIX being ABIX meant the seriousness didn’t swallow her whole.
It meant she could breathe.
Aleem glanced at Belle.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
Belle nodded.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Aleem nodded.
“Okay.”
Ivan put the folder on the table.
Belle stared.
“What is that,” Belle asked.
Ivan opened it.
Inside were printed pages.
Not wedding packages.
Not ballroom brochures.
A checklist.
Belle’s stomach tightened.
Crystal leaned in.
“OH MY GOD,” Crystal whispered loudly. “You actually made a checklist.”
Ivan didn’t look ashamed.
“Of course,” Ivan said. “We need structure.”
Crystal squinted.
“Why are you like this.”
Ivan shrugged.
“It works,” he said.
Belle stared at the pages.
There were headings:
- Nikah requirements
- Timeline considerations
- Family touchpoints
- Budget assumptions
Belle blinked.
“Aleem,” Belle whispered, “did you know he would do this.”
Aleem’s mouth twitched faintly.
“Yes,” Aleem said.
Belle stared.
“You let him?”
Aleem replied calmly.
“I asked him,” he admitted.
Belle’s mouth fell open.
Ivan nodded once, satisfied.
“Good,” Ivan said.
Crystal put a hand on her chest.
“Okay, I’m offended,” she announced. “Nobody asked me to do anything. I’m the creative director.”
Ivan’s eyes flicked to her.
“Your job is morale,” Ivan said.
Crystal brightened.
“Correct,” she said proudly.
Belle laughed–small, surprised.
The laugh came with relief.
Because planning didn’t have to mean trauma.
It could mean:
We are doing this with help.
Ivan slid the checklist toward Belle.
Belle scanned it.
Then she saw the first line under “Nikah requirements.”
Wali.
Belle’s stomach dropped.
Her throat tightened.
Aleem noticed.
His voice was gentle.
“We don’t have to decide today,” he said.
Belle nodded quickly.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Ivan spoke, calm.
“Today is direction,” Ivan said. “Not decisions.”
Crystal nodded dramatically.
“Yes,” she agreed. “Direction, not date. We are traumatised but resilient.”
Ivan stared at her.
“That’s not an official slogan,” he said.
Crystal smiled.
“It is now,” she replied.
Aleem glanced at Belle.
Belle’s mouth twitched.
She breathed.
Okay.
Aleem’s gaze softened.
“Okay,” he murmured.
They started with what they could name without pain.
Timeline.
Not a date.
A window.
Aleem spoke first.
“My parents said proceed,” he said. “But not fast.”
Belle nodded.
“My parents also said proceed,” Belle said softly. “But they need… time.”
Crystal’s expression softened.
“Your mum okay?” Crystal asked.
Belle swallowed.
“She’s okay,” Belle said. “She’s… showing up while hurting.”
The words landed.
Ivan nodded once.
“That’s the best kind of support,” Ivan said.
Aleem’s voice stayed calm.
“I don’t want to rush nikah until Belle is certain,” Aleem said.
Crystal blinked.
“Certain like… Muslim?” she whispered.
Aleem nodded.
“Yes,” he said. “Belief.”
Belle’s throat tightened.
Aleem didn’t look at her like she was failing.
He looked at her like she was respected.
Ivan tapped the page.
“So we set an estimated window,” Ivan said. “Not public. Just internal.”
Crystal raised her hand.
“Internal like secret wedding?” she asked.
Ivan sighed.
“No,” Ivan said. “Internal like–our planning. So we know what needs to happen before we inform extended people.”
Crystal nodded solemnly.
“Okay. Like project phases,” she said.
Ivan’s eyes narrowed.
“You’re mocking me,” Ivan said.
Crystal smiled.
“No,” she lied.
Belle laughed again.
Small.
Real.
Then came the list of “touchpoints.”
Ivan read them out, voice neutral.
“Family meeting: both parents,” he said. “Clarify boundary agreements. Clarify expectations. Discuss combined ceremony approach.”
Belle’s stomach tightened.
“Combined ceremony?” Belle asked.
Aleem answered softly.
“Not combined rituals,” Aleem clarified. “But combined respect. Your family needs space to grieve. My family needs space to honour deen. We can’t pretend either side doesn’t exist.”
Belle nodded.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Ivan continued.
“Ustazah guidance,” he said. “Course requirements if needed. Registry requirements. Venue decisions.”
Crystal leaned forward, excited.
“VENUE,” she whispered. “Now we can talk vibes.”
Ivan stared.
“Later,” Ivan said.
Crystal pouted.
Belle looked down at her notebook.
Her pen hovered.
She wrote a sentence slowly.
This time, planning is not to control. Planning is to include.
She didn’t know why she wrote it.
But it felt like an anchor.
Aleem cleared his throat.
“Belle,” he said quietly.
Belle looked up.
Aleem’s gaze was steady.
“I want ABIX to support,” he said, “but I also want to protect you from… noise.”
Noise.
Extended relatives.
Community comments.
Expectations.
Belle swallowed.
Aleem continued,
“So we keep it small for now. Only parents. ABIX. Ustazah. No one else until we’re ready.”
Belle nodded.
“Yes,” she whispered.
Crystal raised her hand dramatically.
“I swear on my life,” Crystal declared, “I will not post anything.”
Ivan deadpanned.
“You also never post when your own life is falling apart,” he said. “Suddenly now you want to post?”
Crystal glared.
“I post stories when I’m happy,” she argued.
Ivan replied, calm.
“Then don’t be happy,” he said.
Belle gasped.
Aleem’s mouth twitched.
Crystal clutched her chest.
“You are so rude,” she hissed.
Ivan sipped his drink.
“I’m practical,” he said.
Belle laughed, then stopped abruptly.
Because she realised she was actually okay.
Not perfectly.
But okay.
She could sit at a table and talk about marriage without collapsing.
That was new.
That was mercy.
Halfway through, the kopitiam uncle came over.
“Order more?” he asked.
Crystal waved.
“Yes, uncle,” she said. “We celebrating.”
Ivan’s eyes narrowed.
“We’re not celebrating,” Ivan said.
Crystal smiled.
“We are celebrating that Belle is alive,” Crystal replied.
Silence.
Belle’s throat tightened.
Aleem’s jaw flexed.
Ivan looked down at his drink.
Crystal’s face softened.
“Oh,” Crystal whispered, suddenly quieter, “sorry. I mean… we’re grateful.”
Belle’s eyes stung.
“I know,” Belle whispered.
Aleem’s voice was low.
“We can be grateful,” he said.
Crystal nodded.
“Okay,” she said softly. “We’re grateful.”
Ivan cleared his throat and flipped a page like he needed something to do with his hands.
“Next,” Ivan said.
They talked about budget lightly.
Not numbers.
Principles.
No debt.
No show-off.
Keep it proper.
Belle found herself nodding.
This wasn’t the old wedding planning.
This wasn’t a fantasy of perfection.
This was a structure shaped by values.
Aleem spoke about keeping things modest.
Ivan added, “Spend where it reduces stress.”
Crystal added, “Spend where it makes you feel loved.”
Ivan stared.
“That is not measurable,” Ivan said.
Crystal smiled.
“Exactly,” she replied.
Belle laughed.
Then her laughter turned into a sigh.
Aleem glanced at her.
“You tired?” he asked.
Belle nodded.
“Just… feeling,” she admitted.
Aleem’s gaze softened.
“Okay,” he said.
Okay.
Belle exhaled.
Okay.
When the meeting ended, Ivan gathered his papers like a man finishing a quarterly review.
Crystal took a selfie of her iced tea cup and captioned it “BIG GIRL TALKS” then deleted it when Ivan stared.
Aleem paid for Belle’s drink without making it a thing.
Belle walked beside Aleem toward the car.
The sun was lower now.
Golden light across the HDB blocks.
Ordinary Singapore.
Belle got into the passenger seat and stared at the dashboard for a moment.
“I didn’t panic,” she said quietly.
Aleem paused.
Then he looked at her.
His gaze was soft.
“No,” he said. “You didn’t.”
Belle swallowed.
“That’s… new,” Belle whispered.
Aleem nodded.
“It’s because you’re not alone,” he said.
Belle’s throat tightened.
“ABIX is ridiculous,” Belle murmured.
Aleem’s mouth twitched.
“They’re ours,” he said.
Ours.
The word landed gently.
Not possessive.
Just… belonging.
Belle exhaled.
Aleem started the car.
Then he said quietly,
“This is just planning. Not binding.”
Belle nodded.
“I know,” she whispered.
Aleem’s voice was steady.
“But planning is also a form of care,” he said.
Care.
Belle stared out the window.
She thought of her parents.
Her mother peeling fruit with wet eyes.
Her father saying okay like it cost him something.
Mak packing containers.
Ayah’s calm gaze.
ABIX’s chaos.
Aleem’s steady hand.
Belle’s chest tightened.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Aleem nodded.
“Okay,” he echoed.
As the car rolled forward, Belle realised something.
The future no longer looked like a cliff.
It looked like a path.
And for the first time, she wasn’t walking it alone.
She was walking it with people who knew how to be gentle with fragile things.
People who knew how to hold without taking.
Properly.