Trip Setup
Chapter 10 – Trip Setup
By the time Crystal said the word Hokkaido, Belle’s first reaction wasn’t excitement.
It was fear.
Not of the place.
Of happiness.
Because happiness felt like something that could be taken away.
Like it was dangerous to want anything again.
They were sitting at their usual supper spot–an open-air kopitiam near Ivan’s place, plastic chairs, warm night air, the hum of late traffic in the distance.
ABIX had fallen back into a pattern lately:
Work complaints.
Food.
Crystal talking too loud.
Ivan pretending he didn’t enjoy it.
Aleem being quietly present.
Belle being… present.
Not fully herself.
But no longer disappearing.
Her parents’ boundary had changed everything.
One word.
One message.
Okay.
It didn’t fix her.
It kept her connected.
Tonight, Belle was halfway through a bowl of mee hoon kueh when Crystal slammed her phone onto the table dramatically.
“I’m done,” Crystal declared.
Ivan didn’t even flinch. “With what?”
“With sadness,” Crystal said. “With heartbreak. With trauma. With all of you acting like life is funeral.”
Ivan sipped his kopi. “Life is mostly admin.”
Crystal pointed at him like he had personally offended joy. “See! This is why you need me.”
Aleem’s lips twitched faintly.
Belle watched, quietly amused.
Crystal leaned forward, eyes bright. “We need a trip.”
Ivan frowned. “We just had a trip last year.”
Crystal waved him off. “Last year was pre-heartbreak. This one is post-heartbreak. Different category.”
Ivan sighed. “Trips cost money.”
Crystal slapped the table. “We all working adults now. Don’t act like NSF.”
Ivan’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not NSF.”
Crystal’s grin widened. “You have NSF soul.”
Belle’s mouth twitched.
Then Crystal said it.
“Hokkaido.”
The word hung in the air.
Snow.
Cold.
Far.
A place where people went to take couple photos.
Belle’s stomach tightened.
Ivan blinked. “Why Hokkaido?”
Crystal’s eyes shone. “Because snow. Because food. Because onsen. Because I want to wear those fluffy coats and look like K-drama.”
Ivan deadpanned, “That’s Japan.”
Crystal glared. “Same vibe.”
Aleem spoke quietly. “Hokkaido is… peaceful.”
Belle’s eyes flicked to him.
His voice had that calm certainty, like he could already picture it.
Crystal pounced on it. “Yes! Peaceful! Healing! Belle can stare at snow and reflect on life.”
Ivan’s expression tightened. “We’re not using Belle as a healing mascot.”
Crystal scoffed. “I’m not. I’m bringing her as my friend.”
Belle’s throat tightened.
Friend.
She looked down at her bowl.
Her fingers trembled slightly.
Crystal softened instantly, sensing it.
“Hey,” Crystal said, quieter. “We don’t have to. It’s just idea. No pressure. We can go JB also.”
Ivan muttered, “JB is not healing. JB is chaos.”
Crystal snorted. “Chaos is my brand.”
Belle smiled faintly.
Aleem’s gaze flicked to Belle’s face, careful.
“Belle,” he said softly. “How you feel about it?”
Belle swallowed.
Her chest tightened.
The thought of going somewhere far made her nervous.
But the thought of staying in Singapore forever, haunted by familiar places, made her feel trapped.
Belle whispered, “I don’t know.”
Aleem nodded. “Okay.”
He didn’t push.
He didn’t persuade.
Proper.
Crystal leaned forward, voice gentle. “We can plan slowly. No need to book immediately. Just… something to look forward to.”
Something.
Look forward.
Belle’s chest tightened.
She didn’t remember the last time she had looked forward to anything without fear.
She stared at the table.
Then she heard her own voice, small and surprised.
“Snow sounds… nice.”
Crystal’s face lit up like a child. “YES!”
Ivan raised a hand. “Calm down. We haven’t decided.”
Crystal ignored him. “Okay, okay, we do it properly. We plan like adults.”
Ivan muttered, “You are not adult.”
Crystal pointed. “I am adult with dreams.”
Aleem’s lips pressed together, hiding amusement.
Belle watched them.
The table felt warm.
Not because the kopitiam was hot.
Because ABIX was still ABIX.
They moved the discussion to Ivan’s place afterward, because planning required Wi-Fi and a surface bigger than a kopi table.
Ivan opened his laptop.
Crystal sat on the floor with her phone like she was about to lead a military briefing.
Aleem sat at the dining table, posture straight, ready to contribute.
Belle sat on the sofa with a cushion hugged to her chest.
Ivan spoke first, practical as always. “Timing. When?”
Crystal waved her hand. “End year. December. Snow guaranteed.”
Ivan frowned. “Flights expensive in December.”
Crystal slapped her phone. “Worth it.”
Aleem’s voice was calm. “If we go early December, it might be slightly cheaper. Still snow.”
Ivan nodded, already typing.
Belle watched Aleem.
He wasn’t dominating the planning.
He was contributing quietly.
Proper.
Crystal started listing things to do like she was reciting a prayer.
“Sapporo snow festival–”
Ivan corrected immediately. “That’s February.”
Crystal froze. “What? Then what’s in December?”
Ivan sighed. “Actual snow.”
Crystal glared. “Fine. Otaru canal! Blue pond! Onsen! Food!”
Ivan typed, expression neutral but secretly engaged.
Aleem asked, “You want to drive or take public?”
Ivan blinked. “Drive? In snow?”
Crystal’s eyes widened. “Wah. Adventure.”
Ivan looked horrified. “Death.”
Aleem’s tone was even. “Public is fine. Less stress.”
Belle listened.
The conversation was normal.
It didn’t revolve around heartbreak.
It didn’t revolve around her.
And yet–every time Belle looked at Aleem, she felt that small pulse again.
Signals.
Because he wasn’t just steady when she was drowning.
He was steady when life was normal too.
That meant it wasn’t performance.
It was character.
Belle’s chest tightened.
Her brain tried to warn her.
Don’t.
Not him.
Not now.
But her heart didn’t listen.
It just noticed.
At one point, Crystal crawled closer to Belle on the sofa.
“Okay,” she whispered conspiratorially. “Tell me. You excited?”
Belle blinked. “About Hokkaido?”
Crystal’s eyes glittered. “About life.”
Belle’s throat tightened.
She looked away.
“I’m scared,” she admitted softly.
Crystal’s voice softened. “Of what?”
“Of… wanting things again,” Belle whispered. “Because last time I wanted… everything. Then it broke.”
Crystal’s expression softened, unusually gentle.
“Belle,” she whispered, “wanting is not wrong. The wrong thing was… someone breaking it.”
Belle’s eyes burned.
Crystal nudged her lightly. “Also, we are not letting you want alone anymore. You want, we want together.”
Belle’s mouth trembled.
Ivan shouted from the dining table, “Crystal, stop saying emotional things like it’s a slogan.”
Crystal yelled back, “Shut up! Let me have moment!”
Aleem’s gaze flicked toward them, then away.
Belle saw the faintest hint of a smile in his eyes.
It was small.
But it warmed her.
They began proper planning.
Ivan created a shared Google Sheet.
Crystal demanded aesthetic categories.
Aleem suggested a realistic itinerary: - Two days Sapporo - One day Otaru - One day Furano / Biei - One onsen ryokan night if budget allowed
Crystal screamed happily at the word ryokan.
Ivan muttered, “Your screaming will get us kicked out.”
Belle listened.
She contributed once.
“Can we… go somewhere quiet?” she asked.
Everyone paused.
Aleem looked up immediately. “Yeah. We can.”
Ivan nodded. “We’ll build in rest days.”
Crystal leaned in, smiling. “Quiet days and chaos days. Balance.”
Belle’s chest tightened.
The way they responded–immediately, without complaint–made her feel like her needs weren’t a burden.
She was used to negotiating for space.
With Jason, she had learned to soften her requests, to not be “too much.”
ABIX didn’t make her negotiate.
They just adjusted.
The safety net wasn’t just for crisis.
It was for living.
When it was past midnight, Crystal finally declared herself sleepy.
Ivan looked at the clock and sighed. “We work tomorrow.”
Crystal waved. “Work is future me problem.”
Ivan glared. “Future you is always suffering because of present you.”
Crystal shrugged. “That’s life.”
Belle stood slowly, hugging her cushion.
Aleem stood too, immediately aware.
“Want me to walk you home?” he asked.
Belle’s chest tightened.
The request felt normal now.
But it still warmed her.
“Yes,” she whispered.
Ivan glanced up, gave Aleem a small nod.
Crystal yawned dramatically. “Okay bye lovebirds–”
Ivan snapped, “Crystal.”
Crystal grinned. “What? I didn’t say anything.”
Belle’s cheeks warmed.
Aleem didn’t react.
Proper.
He simply waited until Belle put on her shoes.
Then he walked with her.
The estate corridor was quiet.
The night air smelled like damp concrete.
Belle’s footsteps echoed softly.
Aleem walked beside her, hands in his pockets, pace matched.
Belle’s mind was still buzzing from the planning.
The idea of snow.
The idea of leaving Singapore.
The idea of laughing in a different place.
Then, suddenly, a thought sliced through her.
“Jason… was supposed to come on trips with me,” Belle whispered.
The sentence fell out.
Aleem’s jaw tightened.
He didn’t flinch.
He didn’t scold.
He just said quietly, “Yeah.”
Belle swallowed. “I hate that I still think of him.”
Aleem’s voice softened. “You don’t have to hate it. It’s normal. Your brain has habits.”
Belle’s throat tightened. “But it ruins everything.”
Aleem shook his head slightly. “It doesn’t ruin. It just… reminds you it mattered.”
Belle’s chest tightened.
Aleem continued, carefully, “And you can make new memories without erasing the old.”
Belle stared at him.
The sentence felt like something she needed to hear.
Not to move on fast.
To move on honestly.
She whispered, “You always know what to say.”
Aleem’s shoulders shifted.
He looked away briefly.
Then he said, voice low, “I don’t always.”
Belle’s heart beat fast.
She wanted to ask what he meant.
He didn’t elaborate.
Proper.
They reached Belle’s door.
Belle paused, keys in hand.
She looked at Aleem.
The corridor light cast soft shadows on his face.
He looked tired.
But steady.
Belle’s chest tightened.
“Aleem,” she said softly.
He looked at her. “Yeah?”
Belle hesitated.
She didn’t know how to name what was happening to her.
So she chose the smallest truth.
“Thank you… for helping me want something again,” she whispered.
Aleem’s eyes softened.
He held her gaze for a beat.
Then he nodded once.
“Okay,” he said.
Not dismissal.
Not distance.
A quiet permission.
Belle swallowed.
She unlocked her door.
Before she went in, Aleem spoke again.
“We’ll plan it properly,” he said quietly. “No rushing. No pressure.”
Belle nodded.
“No rushing,” she repeated.
Aleem’s lips pressed together. “Goodnight, Belle.”
“Goodnight,” she whispered.
The door closed.
Belle leaned her forehead against it.
Her heart beat fast.
She wasn’t healed.
But she was planning a trip.
She was looking at a shared spreadsheet.
She was imagining snow.
And somewhere deep in her chest, under all the grief, there was a small, dangerous spark.
Not love.
Not yet.
But the possibility of life.
Trip setup.
A milestone.
A doorway.